http://163128.home.blog/2022/04/16/l1/
Ephesians 4: 16
From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love. Amen!!
PRESSLINK:
Before Bjarne passed I used to be very social.
Big dinner parties at my house.
Hanging out with many friends.
Phone calls for lengthy conversations.
I always had friends to talk to.
But after the devastation of losing him I experienced what I called a duality. My inner world changed so dramatically and my outer world could no longer match it.
The difference between what I was experiencing and what the world thought I was experiencing, was vast.
It wasn’t anyone’s fault.
I was being separated from everyone by grief. Slowly I found myself not only devastatingly sad, but deeply lonely.
That is when I started to learn how to solo process my grief.
I got really good at crying alone, surviving alone and also befriending myself. I created a whole new inner world to live in. And writing was part of that world.
People always assume I was always a writer.
But I wasn’t.
I became one to understand myself. Grief is a multi layered experience and I could not get to a deeper level in my conversations
with the people in my life. So I had to become the other person.
I had to give birth to a second Christina. A twin imaginary friend.
The two of us started to go deeper and deeper. Analyze what was happening each day.
Brainstorming solutions. Reading the books. Learning the new landscape of life.
And I don’t regret it. I saved myself. I know you have also saved yourself.
But I do hope we do find our way back to deep and trusting friendships again.
It is not fun not to be known by others.
It is not fun not to be seen for who you really are.
There is healing in that, the kind of healing you cannot give to yourself.
you have two choices:
settle for what’s comfortable
I have the courage to grow into the unknown.
you can’t have both.
“Through You we will push back our adversaries, through Your name we will trample down those who rise up against us.”
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
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